


Declination.

by Vriskaserbet



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa IF - Fandom
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Late Night Conversations, Night walks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:16:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5800393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vriskaserbet/pseuds/Vriskaserbet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her mind still flashes with memories. The blue carpet, the feeling of the pink wig touching her shoulders, the layers on makeup adorning her skin, the sharp feeling of fake red nails, the spears-</p><p>She's going on a walk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Declination.

Declination.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Like she often does nowadays, Ikusaba Mukuro jolted upward the second she wakes up. She goes stiff, wildly looking around her small room. It's not to make sure no one has snuck into her room, but to confirm that this IS her room. That these are her belongings, her wallpaper, carpet and scent with a closet filled with her clothes, not the room she was given by her sister once it was finally time to begin plans.

It still isn't enough.

She holds in her breath, clutching her bedsheets. They aren't anything special, unlike the designer-brand ones Junko owned. She removes her hands from the bed sheets and turns sideways, still sitting on the bed but the soles of her feet go to rest on the worn, old floorboards. She runs her fingers through her short haircut.

Her mind still flashes with memories. The blue carpet, the feeling of the pink wig touching her shoulders, the layers on makeup adorning her skin, the sharp feeling of fake red nails, the spears-

She's going on a walk.

Silently, she leaves the room. Technically, this isn't allowed. The former SHSL Despair, the actual twin to the leader of the movement, was commanded to have restricted movement during the night. They claimed Sakura and Mondo would be enough to handle her, so no additional guards were added to the house the Future Foundation gave them in exchange of working for them. Neither of them watched her, or at least anymore. But still, she could feel the tension. The distrust. The fear.

It didn't help her mind.

So, with the freedom from the people that lived with her-she never thought of them as either classmates or friends, she didn't deserve that type of thinking-she left the building and into the outside world.

It was a breath of fresh air. Literally.

The cool air shocked her to the realization of where she was. Of what had happened. 

Everything. 

 

She spread her arms wide open, taking one slow step after the other. Mukuro didn't plan to go too far, but she wanted to enjoy her walk the best she could. She felt the dirt and small rocks underneath her feet, the freezing wind all over her body, and she took one big breath after the other. 

"I'm free." she whispered to herself, and the intrusive memories began to fade away. They could never survive the shock of the outside world, something that even she had been denied of for so long.

Even this empty, dark world still filled with despair and destruction was freedom for her. For all of them. In the corner of her eye, she could see flowers and trees attempting to flourish. 

In the corner of her eye, she saw someone was following her.

She turned around quickly, getting into a fighting stance to defend herself. But she relaxed once she recognized the figure.

Kirigiri Kyouko.

The moonlight made her seem even paler, her long lilac hair blowing in the wind. Mukuro clenched her fists once before letting them relax.

"Kirigiri-san..."

"Hello, Ikusaba-san. Given your appearance, you're just on a walk?"

"Yes. I heard no suspicious sounds. I will head back." Kirigiri stared at her as Mukuro began to walk back, then placed her gloved hand on her shoulder. 

"It is fine. Let's go on a walk together, Ikusaba-san." Mukuro couldn't stop a light pink tinting her cheeks. But she kept her calm expression as she nodded.

"Good."

They walked together, side by side. Kirigiri was dressed in her pajamas, a thick jacket to keep her warm, but she had put on her boots. Even on dirt, the clack of the heel hitting the ground was audible.

Mukuro was thankful Kirigiri was here. While her dissociation episode had ended, it was always helpful to include extra validation to bring her back to her current state. No more did she go back to the days of looking at Kirigiri, worried if she was doomed to kill or be killed. Even with the dangerous world of SHSL Despair, Mukuro was confident in everyone’s survival. The force behind the Future Foundation and the resources were far stronger than even she had expected.

'I'm so glad you're all alive,' she thought, and subconsciously mumbled it out. 

Kirigiri let out a short 'hmm?' in response, and Mukuro stiffened in embarrassment. Kirigiri raised a eyebrow.

"Ikusaba-san, you seem a little on edge tonight. Are you sure things are alright?"

"Yes, Kirigiri-san! Everyone in the team are alive and uninjured, there's no sign of any threats and we have received our monthly supplies, and-" Kirigiri raised her hand, quieting Mukuro in a second. 

"No. That's not what I mean." They stopped walking, and they turned to face each other. 

"Ikusaba-san, are YOU alright?" 

Mukuro felt confusion brew deeply within her. The idea of worrying for herself, of her own emotions and thoughts... it was completely foreign. All of her life, she lived for another. Whether it was Fenrir or her sister or in the current case-the Future Foundation, it didn't matter. 

Independence was a tricky thing to get a hold of, but Mukuro was beginning to become aware perhaps she needed more of it. At least enough so she could process this question and answer it.

Kirigiri closed her eyes. "I thought so." 

"I'm....I'm sorry." 

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Ikusaba-san. No one said this would be easy."

"What do you mean?" 

"Being yourself, Ikusaba-san." Kirigiri folded her arms. "You've lived in the shadows of others, simply following what you were told. But you have thoughts and beliefs of your own. The fact that we are standing here right now proves this to me and the others."

"Kirigiri-san.... thank you. I admit, I... I still feel so much guilt. I feel like I'll never repent for what I've done and what I almost did." She bit her lip, regretting what she just said. Surely it wasn't normal to just dump her feelings like that on anybody, even if Kirigiri seemed willing to listen. 

"But you're trying. That matters most."

"...Sorry for venting."

"It's fine. Want to continue our walk?"

"...Yeah."

They continued their walk.

They began to go out far. They had a building in a mostly abandoned city, not too broken down or dead and yet not too lively and fixed. A good part to have a small place to live in between missions. 

Mukuro stepped over the crumbled pieces of concrete. Kirigiri did the same, though she tended to hop over it. Mukuro smiled slightly, being reminded of bunnies whenever she did so. 

The image of Tanaka Gundam, saying his goodbyes before he left as she and Junko sealed up the final entrance to the school, flashed in her head. Mukuro put pressure on the rocks she was standing on, feeling the way they dug into her feet. 

"Ikusaba-san. I think we're reaching the road with a large gap in between it." Mukuro nodded and was beginning to turn around before Kirigiri placed her hand on her shoulder yet again. 

"I still want to walk. I believe it's possible for you to safely jump over it. I was thinking-"

"D-Do you want me to carry you?" Mukuro said quickly. Kirigiri was surprised at her comment but smiled slightly before Mukuro could try and take it back.

"That sounds far better than what I had in mind, Ikusaba-san. I hope you do not mind this. I've... been meaning to do this for a while." 

"Take a walk?" 

Kirigiri smile grew. "No, but it's a bonus." Mukuro quickly stomped out the thoughts questioning Kirigiri's comment. So, instead, she just held out her arms.

"Want to be carried now? I'll hurry us to the the gap and I'll jump right over it. Then we can hurry back to enjoy our... our walk." Kirigiri blushed very slightly, pausing to fold her arms before she walked forward.

Mukuro picked her up princess style, and once Kirigiri gave her confirmation; she ran off. Cold air hit her face harshly as she ran, her feet making the dirt fly up into the air. Kirigiri held onto her close, staring up at Mukuro's face.

When they reached the gap, Mukuro ran all the way up to the very edge. Just as her feet began to ghost around the empty space, she squatted low and shot back up with a strong jump within a second. 

Kirigiri felt something rise and fall in her stomach, in time with their jump. Mukuro landed safely on the other side. 

"...Good job, Ikusaba-san." 

"You're welcome, Kirigiri-san..." Mukuro placed Kirigiri back on her feet, and the two continued their walk.

For a few minutes, they walked in silence. They looked at all the destruction. They looked at the signs of lives. Detailed chalk drawings were on the pieces of concrete, clearly a work from Yamada. On the longer and better survived buildings, they could see the lyrics Sayaka and Leon worked together to make. 

"Do you think any SHSL Despair will recognize their work?" Mukuro asked. Kirigiri placed her hand under her chin.

"Perhaps. But it's nice to look at them. I'd rather not rain on their parade unless absolutely necessary." 

"It really is. Kuwata-k-...Kuwata-san has a lovely singing voice."

"Kuwata-kun really does. Tell me, Ikusaba-san, didn't he used to hold karaoke nights?" Mukuro stopped walking, her head to the right to stare off into the distance. 

"...Ikusaba-san?"

"Yeah. He would." Mukuro dug her feet into the rocks. "He would get everything hooked up, and he would buy so much junk food. We would end up pitching to help him out on the latter. Ishimaru always brought healthy food. You were a bit more fond of that one, but you wouldn't pass a few bites of anything with chocolate in it."

Kirigiri let out a breathy sound that almost sounded like a laugh.

"I'm still recovering my memories, Ikusaba-san. But that sounds something I would do. But, Ikusaba-san?"

"Hm?"

"Have you noticed Kuwata-kun started calling you Ikusaba-kun again?" Mukuro bit her lip. Kirigiri went on, running a hand through her hair.

"It was an unlikely friendship, back at the school... but it was good. He seemed to make you very happy, and you did the same for him. I'm sure he's remembering that to."

"Kirigiri-san. Why are you... why are you doing this?"

"Everyone needs reassurance."

"Yes, but why you out of all people? We are not particularly close."

"...I wish to change that."

Mukuro felt her heart leap into her neck. She gulped it back down and asked for Kirigiri to elaborate.

"I regret... not being friends with you. I am not blaming myself, or believing my simple token of friendship would be enough to change it. But, Ikusaba-san... you are an interesting person. You are a kind person to be around. I simply want to be with you because you are enjoyable to be around." Mukuro turned around, silent tears rolling down her face.

"...Thank you..." Kirigiri reached into her pocket, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it over to her. Mukuro sniffed and wiped her face with shuddery sighs.

"Thank you very much. This... this means a lot to me, Kirigiri-san."

They stared at each other. Kirigiri's soft pink lips looked even more appealing with her pale white skin, and Kirigiri heart ached to do anything to erase the troubled look in Mukuro's eyes.

So they both leaned in, closed their eyes, and kissed. It lasted for just a few seconds before they separated their lips. 

They stared at each other.

"...Ikusaba-san?" 

"Y...Yes, Kirigiri-san?" she said, looking at her feet.

"I admit. While I do not remember our school years very easily, I do remember... a crush on you. Ikusaba-san, I want to tell you my feelings now. But... I do not want to force you back into that thinking. I do not want you to live solely for another, yet again."

"N-No, I've felt the same way a long time. I...I'm trying to get better. I... I would like to rely on you for help. On the others for help. So I could be... a normal person."

"You are normal. It is just that your normal behavior is harmful."

"...Kirigiri-san, I think I want to head back. I'm sorry."  
"It's okay. I wanted to head back now, anyways. I must apologize myself, if I pushed too hard on you." 

"It's... it's fine. We can do this together, right?" They made eye contact, and both flushed.

"I believe we can, Ikusaba-san."

Mukuro carried Kirigiri all the way back to the house. They parted ways back to their own rooms, not quite sure of anything yet but embracing in what stable ground they had together.


End file.
